Episode 225.5 Metallica
This week’s Patreon pod was about the best & worst Metallica songs. The first hour hit the main podcast feed so you can check it out here, here, or here and check the playlist here or here. If you want to peep the whole episode, smash that Patreon button. The Patreons are the people who keep this podcast (and Substack?) alive.
Like a lot of young dudes of my age, Metallica was my favorite band at some point. They were one of the greatest bands on the planet before they became the soundtrack for dudes with Punisher stickers on their trucks and army wives.
Anyway, Metallica dabbled in some punk shit so let’s get into it…
Misfits “Last Caress” Beware 12”, Plan 9 Records, 1980
Misfits “Green Hell” Earth A.D./Wolfs Blood 12”, Plan 9 Records, 1983
These came out on The $5.98 E.P. – Garage Days Re-Revisited record in August of 1987. Mixed bag here, imo. The “Last Caress” cover is dogshit with the palm muting and just complete lack of soul. They get an extra point for some nice vocal harmonizing though. “Green Hell” kind of works because the original is so palm mute heavy.
“Last Caress” = 2/10
“Green Hell” = 7/10
Of course we gotta mention the Metallica/Pushead relationship which is another link to punk.
Anti-Nowhere League “So What” Streets of London 7”, WXYZ Records, 1981
This came out in October of 1991 as a B-Side of the “Unforgiven” single. I can say nothing nice about that track, but “So What” is pretty decent. The tempo is perfect, the guitar tone is ill, and the “WHO CARES” gangs are pretty great. Still, the song is stiff and soulless, comepletly missing the sleaze and swag of the original.
“So What” = 4/10
Discharge “Free Speech For the Dumb” Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing 12”, Clay Records, 1982
Metallica did two Discharge covers that came out in November of 1998 on Garage, Inc. Shoutout to the freaks who bought the 3xLP version.
Let’s get into “Free Speech For the Dumb” first. Everything about this sucks except the song selection which is pretty sick and fitting for Metallica, since the song contains the final solo that Bones would lay down in Discharge.
The Metallica recording blows - a wannabe low-fi affair for a band with all the resources on the planet in a move that totally misses a key piece of Discharge: sick ass production. Both classic Discharge 12”s sound fucking savage in the best ways possible so it’s insane that a band tried to water down their production in an attempt to get their vibe. They muddy Kirk’s solo low in the mix too so what’s the point of doing this song anyway? I guess so James can add a few extra “fucks” to the track to make it extra edgy for the long (short by 98?) hairs.
“Free Speech For the Dumb” = 2/10
Discharge “The More I See” The More I See 12”, Clay Records, 1984
Wild ass song selection here so I respect it. This is from The More I See EP, which is the third Discharge EP after guitarist Bones left the band. I gotta say, I like these singles that exist between the 2nd and 3rd 12”s. Do they hold a candle to prime Discharge? Of course not. Cal’s vocals are pretty ass when he says “misery” and lyrically they’re just going through the motions. But like Slayer and pizza, even when its mid, it’s still pretty good.
On the 12” version of this single, Discharge does a pointless extendo version that drags this out to a four minute track. Of course Metallica covers that one. James heard Cal’s ass vocals and said hold my beer - every Hetfield vocal indulgence is here in the worst way. Hearing this put me in miiiissseerrreeeeeeey (Cal ass metal vocal impression).
“The More I See” = 2/10
Average Metallica punk cover score = 3.4/10
I’ll leave you with a Metallica interview from Ink Disease #9 (1985)
- ZN